An Interview with Omni Shampoo Bar
INTERVIEWER:
Welcome! Could you introduce yourself?
OMNI SHAMPOO BAR:
I’m the new Omni Shampoo Bar. You’ll love waking up with me in the morning in a hot shower. I’ll be honest, I am bubbly, like really bubbly. And I’ll leave your hair feeling so clean and smooth.
INTERVIEWER:
What do you mean bubbly?
OMNI SHAMPOO BAR:
I lather like nobody’s business. You just run the bar through your hair a few times, rub your head, and you have a head full of bubbles. And it’s a gentle clean. The cleansers are coconut oil derived so the bubbles don’t strip your hair.
INTERVIEWER:
Who should use you?
OMNI SHAMPOO BAR:
Everybody. Anybody. Omnibody. Long hair. Short hair. Thin hair. Course hair. Curly hair. Straight hair. Seriously. All hair types will love the way I work for their hair. I’ve got jojoba oil to strengthen hair and panthenol and oat proteins that nourish your roots. I’ll gently cleanse your hair and leave the natural oils. You may even find you don’t need conditioner after you use me.
INTERVIEWER:
What else are you good for?
OMNI SHAMPOO BAR:
I’m good for the planet. Did you know that over 552 million shampoo bottles end up in our landfills each year? This would fill 1,164 football fields. Now, how are we supposed to play football? Especially considering this happens yearly. Bottle shampoo users are filling up the landfills and the football fields. I’m proud to say I don’t need a bottle. This shampoo bar comes plastic free.
INTERVIEWER:
Is there anything else you’d like to share with us?
OMNI SHAMPOO BAR:
Yep. I smell amazing. And my scent is au natural - from essential oils Cedar, Myrrh, Spruce, Clove, and Eucalyptus. I smell so good, someone wrote a haiku about me:
Grounded mystery
From the outdoors, lifting with
Warmth to heights that soar
INTERVIEWER:
Thank you Omni Shampoo Bar. It has been a pleasure talking with you.
OMNI SHAMPOO BAR:
If you want to take pleasure to the next level, try using me.
I don’t have much hair and I don’t care a lot about football, but I like bubbles, the idea of reducing the amount of plastic in the environment and combating gender inequity.